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Inconvenient Daughter
A vibrant and provocative debut novel that dispels myths surrounding transracial adoption.
Rowan Kelly knows she’s lucky. After all, if she hadn’t been adopted, she could have spent her days in a rice paddy, or a windowless warehouse assembling iPhones—they make iPhones in Korea, right? Either way, slowly dying of boredom on Long Island is surely better than the alternative. But as she matures, she realizes that she’ll never know if she has her mother’s eyes, or if she’d be in America at all had her adoptive parents been able to conceive.
Rowan sets out to prove that she can be someone’s first choice. After running away from home—and her parents’ rules—and ending up beaten, barefoot, and topless on a Pennsylvania street courtesy of Bad Boy Number One, Rowan attaches herself to Never-Going-to-Commit. When that doesn’t work out, she fully abandons self-respect and begins browsing Craigslist personals. But as Rowan dives deeper into the world of casual encounters with strangers, she discovers what she’s really looking for.
With a fresh voice and a quick wit, Lauren J. Sharkey dispels the myths surrounding transracial adoption, the ties that bind, and what it means to belong.
A debut novel on our Kaylie Jones Books imprint.
Rowan Kelly knows she’s lucky. After all, if she hadn’t been adopted, she could have spent her days in a rice paddy, or a windowless warehouse assembling iPhones—they make iPhones in Korea, right? Either way, slowly dying of boredom on Long Island is surely better than the alternative. But as she matures, she realizes that she’ll never know if she has her mother’s eyes, or if she’d be in America at all had her adoptive parents been able to conceive.
Rowan sets out to prove that she can be someone’s first choice. After running away from home—and her parents’ rules—and ending up beaten, barefoot, and topless on a Pennsylvania street courtesy of Bad Boy Number One, Rowan attaches herself to Never-Going-to-Commit. When that doesn’t work out, she fully abandons self-respect and begins browsing Craigslist personals. But as Rowan dives deeper into the world of casual encounters with strangers, she discovers what she’s really looking for.
With a fresh voice and a quick wit, Lauren J. Sharkey dispels the myths surrounding transracial adoption, the ties that bind, and what it means to belong.
A debut novel on our Kaylie Jones Books imprint.
232 pages, Paperback
First published June 23, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 216 reviews
July 20, 2020
Never has a book resonated with me quite like this one.
Like the protagonist Rowan (and the author, Sharkey), I was adopted as an infant by a Catholic family in New York State. (Theirs, Irish Catholic on Long Island; mine, Italian Catholic in Rochester.) We were “raised to be white,” which is a sentence I spent a while trying to articulate recently. While Rowan’s path is not my own, I see in her story an alternate reality.
I saw so many parts of myself in this book. For POC and Korean transracial adoptees, this is one of the most validating experiences – to be acknowledged, to be seen. Sharkey says it best: “You are Asian to the people around you but not to yourself.” Transracial adoptees exist in a liminal state. We’re on the outside looking in, usually on both sides. Even if we’re assimilated and consider ourselves mostly white, we still face othering. We’re potentially considered more Korean than our biracial/hapa friends. When people pressure us to tell us where we’re really from, they’re always victorious when they poke hard enough for us to reveal that no, we weren’t born in this country.
All I have to say about this book is that if you want to begin exploring what Korean transracial adoption is like for adoptees from an #ownvoices perspective, find a copy of this book.
Like the protagonist Rowan (and the author, Sharkey), I was adopted as an infant by a Catholic family in New York State. (Theirs, Irish Catholic on Long Island; mine, Italian Catholic in Rochester.) We were “raised to be white,” which is a sentence I spent a while trying to articulate recently. While Rowan’s path is not my own, I see in her story an alternate reality.
I saw so many parts of myself in this book. For POC and Korean transracial adoptees, this is one of the most validating experiences – to be acknowledged, to be seen. Sharkey says it best: “You are Asian to the people around you but not to yourself.” Transracial adoptees exist in a liminal state. We’re on the outside looking in, usually on both sides. Even if we’re assimilated and consider ourselves mostly white, we still face othering. We’re potentially considered more Korean than our biracial/hapa friends. When people pressure us to tell us where we’re really from, they’re always victorious when they poke hard enough for us to reveal that no, we weren’t born in this country.
All I have to say about this book is that if you want to begin exploring what Korean transracial adoption is like for adoptees from an #ownvoices perspective, find a copy of this book.
July 23, 2020
This is a debut novel by Lauren J. Sharkey, loosely based on her own experience being adopted by white parents from South Korea as a wee one. It includes a lot of typical parent-child situations, but often magnified by a feeling of loss or rejection that follow her into college and beyond.
TW for dating violence that comes up pretty suddenly and I definitely wasn't expecting the turn it took. The premise behind the violence is that Rowan is setting "out to prove that she can be someone’s first choice" but it's a pretty rough road.
I had access to the book from the publisher through Edelweiss and it came out July 7.
TW for dating violence that comes up pretty suddenly and I definitely wasn't expecting the turn it took. The premise behind the violence is that Rowan is setting "out to prove that she can be someone’s first choice" but it's a pretty rough road.
I had access to the book from the publisher through Edelweiss and it came out July 7.
November 16, 2022
"my wounds are the reckoning of my choices."
if there's one thing i love it's mother-daughter relationships and dynamics being explored in media. rowan's story was not an easy one to follow at all, but i loved it nonetheless. the pain and frustration of constantly looking for love in the wrong places and with the wrong people. although i wish we had a more solid ending for rowan, i loved the fact that the book ends with a sentimental moment between her and her mother.
"all i am has been given to me by her."
if there's one thing i love it's mother-daughter relationships and dynamics being explored in media. rowan's story was not an easy one to follow at all, but i loved it nonetheless. the pain and frustration of constantly looking for love in the wrong places and with the wrong people. although i wish we had a more solid ending for rowan, i loved the fact that the book ends with a sentimental moment between her and her mother.
"all i am has been given to me by her."
June 26, 2020
I went into this not knowing what this was about and let me just say.. this book broke my heart. I finished this in one day because I was nervous what would become of Rowan and needed to know. I wasn't expecting this to be so sad and heart breaking. Rowan struggles with her adoption and feeling like she's never good enough. She went through so much pain physically and emotionally and she REALLY didn't deserve that. I just wanted to reach through the book and give her a hug and protect. I do think the ending was cute but it did sort of end suddenly, I think I wanted more for Rowan and her mother but I'm glad at the end she was finally able to find her worth.
Thank you netgalley and to the publisher for the arc!
Thank you netgalley and to the publisher for the arc!
January 2, 2024
A short little book that I picked up since it was available on my Everand subscription, and I managed to finish the whole thing in one 'sitting' (well, walking really!)
I'm not totally sure what to make of it. On the one hand, the writing was great! I found the characters compelling, and couldn't put the book down. It dealt with some really difficult topics, such as abuse and transracial adoption, but did so in a really raw and creative way. But on the other hand, I didn't quite click with the story. It started out strong, but ended quite abruptly and the resolution felt rushed. There were many unfinished character threads, and I couldn't understand why the main character came round to her way of thinking in those final few minutes.
At least, those were all the things I was thinking until I googled the book and found out it's essentially auto-biographical. Okay, okay, it says "based on", but since all the schools and the dates match up, and the author is very open about their past, I think it's closer to being a biography than fiction. And, in real life, 'character' threads don't always have time to be resolved, real life isn't a neat little story that can be tied up in a bow with a beginning, middle, and end.
In that way, the book made more sense. I don't know if I would have picked it up had I known it was a biography. But equally marketing it as a work of pure fiction doesn't quite set the reader up right either.
3/5 stars out of respect to the author because I really loved her style of writing and would eagerly read her next book. But only 3/5 because I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed this one as much as I could have done.
I'm not totally sure what to make of it. On the one hand, the writing was great! I found the characters compelling, and couldn't put the book down. It dealt with some really difficult topics, such as abuse and transracial adoption, but did so in a really raw and creative way. But on the other hand, I didn't quite click with the story. It started out strong, but ended quite abruptly and the resolution felt rushed. There were many unfinished character threads, and I couldn't understand why the main character came round to her way of thinking in those final few minutes.
At least, those were all the things I was thinking until I googled the book and found out it's essentially auto-biographical. Okay, okay, it says "based on", but since all the schools and the dates match up, and the author is very open about their past, I think it's closer to being a biography than fiction. And, in real life, 'character' threads don't always have time to be resolved, real life isn't a neat little story that can be tied up in a bow with a beginning, middle, and end.
In that way, the book made more sense. I don't know if I would have picked it up had I known it was a biography. But equally marketing it as a work of pure fiction doesn't quite set the reader up right either.
3/5 stars out of respect to the author because I really loved her style of writing and would eagerly read her next book. But only 3/5 because I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed this one as much as I could have done.
April 30, 2020
Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This novel tells the story of a transracially adopted girl, coming to terms with a sense of belonging and being enough. Sharkey manages to beautifully integrate her own experiences into the story of Rowan, and her relationships with others, especially her adoptive mother.
The book jumps in time from the here and now to Rowan's past, which I really liked since what is happening to her now is always connected somehow to what happened in the past. Although sometimes it wasn't executed very well which made it confusing to read. The book is very fast-paced, which makes you want to read more and more. However, I felt like the ending was a bit rushed and was not very satisfactory.
Overall, I enjoyed this book, especially since I could relate to Rowan's experiences a lot. As I said, it reads very fast and straightforward, making it an easy read, even though it deals with some heavier topics.
This novel tells the story of a transracially adopted girl, coming to terms with a sense of belonging and being enough. Sharkey manages to beautifully integrate her own experiences into the story of Rowan, and her relationships with others, especially her adoptive mother.
The book jumps in time from the here and now to Rowan's past, which I really liked since what is happening to her now is always connected somehow to what happened in the past. Although sometimes it wasn't executed very well which made it confusing to read. The book is very fast-paced, which makes you want to read more and more. However, I felt like the ending was a bit rushed and was not very satisfactory.
Overall, I enjoyed this book, especially since I could relate to Rowan's experiences a lot. As I said, it reads very fast and straightforward, making it an easy read, even though it deals with some heavier topics.
May 12, 2020
Man, this book broke my heart! An ‘Inconvenient Daughter’ is told in first person in a stream of consciousness style. The protagonist, Rowan Kelly, details important events in her life that have lead up to her being in a hospital following a traumatic encounter. She was adopted from Korea as a baby by white parents in Long Island, New York. The story follows her emotional struggles with being surrendered for adoption and increasing tension with her mother, whom she views as controlling. Rowan’s lack of self-worth grows and she begins to seek approval and affection outwardly, continuously picking the wrong partners. I was sobbing at some of these encounters. It takes her more than five years to begin to heal and understand she is worthy. I appreciated the redemption aspect of the story, but I wanted more. I was so rooting for her relationship with her mother. The story ends abruptly, but you are left with hope for their relationship.
Thanks you NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for providing this ARC.
Thanks you NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for providing this ARC.
April 24, 2020
I got this book in Net Galley and was intrigued by the subject of an adopted child in a family of a different race. The story is about Rowan Kelly, who was adopted at 3 months old from Korea. Rowan grows up on Long Island with her Caucasian parents and an adopted brother also from Korea.
Rowan seems to be a typical kid, defiant at times and eager to lead her own life her own way. There is never any indication that her parents didn't love her or care for here, yet her behavior looks very much like, a clinical case of oppositional defiant disorder. Rowan is not particularly interested in her Korea heritage, but at some point looks into her background with information from the adoption agency, which helps to fuel her feelings of rejection and worthlessness.
Rowan acts out and takes off with on a long run of destruction. It is like a very long scream, raw and frightening as it is absence of any logic, as we read about the pain she inflicts on herself. Her parents seem to be MIA, and it only gets worse.
The writing is uneven, but does convey the pain Rowan was going through. The book runs out of steam at the end, without and conclusions, as Rowan just stops her destructive behavior.
The book is a fast read, not complicated and straight forward. It just leaves a lot of open questions, and would have been more satisfying if the writer had more depth in the development of the characters.
Rowan seems to be a typical kid, defiant at times and eager to lead her own life her own way. There is never any indication that her parents didn't love her or care for here, yet her behavior looks very much like, a clinical case of oppositional defiant disorder. Rowan is not particularly interested in her Korea heritage, but at some point looks into her background with information from the adoption agency, which helps to fuel her feelings of rejection and worthlessness.
Rowan acts out and takes off with on a long run of destruction. It is like a very long scream, raw and frightening as it is absence of any logic, as we read about the pain she inflicts on herself. Her parents seem to be MIA, and it only gets worse.
The writing is uneven, but does convey the pain Rowan was going through. The book runs out of steam at the end, without and conclusions, as Rowan just stops her destructive behavior.
The book is a fast read, not complicated and straight forward. It just leaves a lot of open questions, and would have been more satisfying if the writer had more depth in the development of the characters.
April 30, 2020
Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Inconvenient Daughter is a beautifully written book which keeps the reader engaged until the end.
The story follows Rowan, an adopted Korean girl to caucasian American parents. Rowan struggles with identity, family dynamics and the feeling of belonging, causing great problems with her self esteem.
The author takes on some delicate issues such as infertility and adoption to controlling relationships and abuse but with due care and sensitivity.
This powerful book is full of heartbreak and joy which brought tears to my eye.
A must read.
Inconvenient Daughter is a beautifully written book which keeps the reader engaged until the end.
The story follows Rowan, an adopted Korean girl to caucasian American parents. Rowan struggles with identity, family dynamics and the feeling of belonging, causing great problems with her self esteem.
The author takes on some delicate issues such as infertility and adoption to controlling relationships and abuse but with due care and sensitivity.
This powerful book is full of heartbreak and joy which brought tears to my eye.
A must read.
May 12, 2020
Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
An Inconvenient Daughter broaches many topics: Race & identity, adoption, mother/daughter relationships, growing up, self-worth. At the cusp of this story is identity. What does it mean to be a Korean baby adopted by a well-meaning, white Irish family in Long Island? Who are you? This is the haunting question our protagonist Rowan Kelly struggles with throughout the book. Rowan craves to look like her parents--to show that she belongs to them. She dismisses her Korean identity and has no interest in discovering her Asian roots. The book flips back and forth, showing snippets of what life is like for Rowan, first as a pre-schooler all the way to a 30-year-old adult. Along the way, Rowan makes many mistakes, fights with her mom, and struggles with her own self-worth. Each chapter begins in the present where Rowan is at the ER and slowly reveals the details as to her visit, although even that is not obvious. At the core of this book is Rowan's relationship (or even lack thereof a relationship) with her mother. Despite her mother's promises of unconditional love, Rowan faces many moments of her mother "shooing" her away when she wants to talk or putting the children she babysits before her daughter's needs. When Rowan brings up questions about her birth mother, her mother brushes her off. When Rowan fights with her mom and tells her "She's not her real mom" her mom cries and leaves a room. As a reader, I hurt for Rowan. I hurt for her and for the bad decisions she made via remaining in an abusive relationship or flunking out of college. What frustrated me most, was there really was no resolution between Rowan and her mother. I kept waiting for an epiphany or climax, and it just wasn't there. Even the big reveal in the ER turned out to be a let-down in that it didn't really lead to anything other than a suspenseful element to the book, which it didn't need. It's Rowan and her own confusion about who she is that keeps the reader turning the page. This was an easy read, I blew through it in two days, but don't expect a lot of resolution. I wanted more depth with the relationship between Rowan and her mother, instead, I got a lot of door slamming and screaming. Her mother really didn't change throughout the book and Rowan, well, she's still a work in progress. When you don't see a character change in some way you have to wonder: What's the point? This book needed more character development, more plot, and more closure. It was so close, but just as Rowan is struggling with who she was, the reader is left just as confused.
An Inconvenient Daughter broaches many topics: Race & identity, adoption, mother/daughter relationships, growing up, self-worth. At the cusp of this story is identity. What does it mean to be a Korean baby adopted by a well-meaning, white Irish family in Long Island? Who are you? This is the haunting question our protagonist Rowan Kelly struggles with throughout the book. Rowan craves to look like her parents--to show that she belongs to them. She dismisses her Korean identity and has no interest in discovering her Asian roots. The book flips back and forth, showing snippets of what life is like for Rowan, first as a pre-schooler all the way to a 30-year-old adult. Along the way, Rowan makes many mistakes, fights with her mom, and struggles with her own self-worth. Each chapter begins in the present where Rowan is at the ER and slowly reveals the details as to her visit, although even that is not obvious. At the core of this book is Rowan's relationship (or even lack thereof a relationship) with her mother. Despite her mother's promises of unconditional love, Rowan faces many moments of her mother "shooing" her away when she wants to talk or putting the children she babysits before her daughter's needs. When Rowan brings up questions about her birth mother, her mother brushes her off. When Rowan fights with her mom and tells her "She's not her real mom" her mom cries and leaves a room. As a reader, I hurt for Rowan. I hurt for her and for the bad decisions she made via remaining in an abusive relationship or flunking out of college. What frustrated me most, was there really was no resolution between Rowan and her mother. I kept waiting for an epiphany or climax, and it just wasn't there. Even the big reveal in the ER turned out to be a let-down in that it didn't really lead to anything other than a suspenseful element to the book, which it didn't need. It's Rowan and her own confusion about who she is that keeps the reader turning the page. This was an easy read, I blew through it in two days, but don't expect a lot of resolution. I wanted more depth with the relationship between Rowan and her mother, instead, I got a lot of door slamming and screaming. Her mother really didn't change throughout the book and Rowan, well, she's still a work in progress. When you don't see a character change in some way you have to wonder: What's the point? This book needed more character development, more plot, and more closure. It was so close, but just as Rowan is struggling with who she was, the reader is left just as confused.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 31, 2020
Beautiful read. This is the book to read if you are stuck at home. Sharkey weaves a masterful tale about what it's like to be an outsider in your own life.
April 3, 2021
3.5/5 stars
This book was heartbreaking in the most stripped-down and honest way. It’s about the experience of so many women, an interracial adoptee and someone who hasn’t found her worth. While it is hard to like our main character at times (especially as a teen), I couldn’t help but hope the best for her. Having a seemingly normal upbringing, her path diverged in so many ways that were devastating but realistic in the portrayals. This is the kind of book that feels like a real glimpse into somebody’s life. It’s one of those books that make you feel more human, empathising with a story that is distinctly and uniquely human at its heart, with the flaws and all. It is sad but also redeeming, smart but simple and overall a really wonderful read.
This book was heartbreaking in the most stripped-down and honest way. It’s about the experience of so many women, an interracial adoptee and someone who hasn’t found her worth. While it is hard to like our main character at times (especially as a teen), I couldn’t help but hope the best for her. Having a seemingly normal upbringing, her path diverged in so many ways that were devastating but realistic in the portrayals. This is the kind of book that feels like a real glimpse into somebody’s life. It’s one of those books that make you feel more human, empathising with a story that is distinctly and uniquely human at its heart, with the flaws and all. It is sad but also redeeming, smart but simple and overall a really wonderful read.
May 7, 2020
Publisher Synopsis: Rowan Kelly knows she’s lucky. After all, if she hadn’t been adopted, she could have spent her days in a rice paddy, or a windowless warehouse assembling iPhones–they make iPhones in Korea, right? Either way, slowly dying of boredom on Long Island is surely better than the alternative. But as she matures, she realizes that she’ll never know if she has her mother’s eyes, or if she’d be in America at all had her adoptive parents been able to conceive.
Rowan sets out to prove that she can be someone’s first choice. After running away from home–and her parents’ rules–and ending up beaten, barefoot, and topless on a Pennsylvania street courtesy of Bad Boy Number One, Rowan attaches herself to Never-Going-to-Commit. When that doesn’t work out, she fully abandons self-respect and begins browsing Craigslist personals. But as Rowan dives deeper into the world of casual encounters with strangers, she discovers what she’s really looking for.
With a fresh voice and a quick wit, Lauren J. Sharkey dispels the myths surrounding transracial adoption, the ties that bind, and what it means to belong.
Review:
I was in desperate need of a book that had me glued to the pages from start to finish, and Lauren J Sharkey has delivered. This sombre tale of an adopted Asian girl is similar to the works of Hanya Yanagihara, and had A Little Life vibes throughout.
Normally, when writing reviews I like to keep notes as i’m progressing through the book, however like I previously said, I was glued to this one, so much so that I didn’t make any notes.
This book, in it’s entirety is flawless. The writing is perfect and the story is gripping. You do truly feel the emotions of the characters and empathise with them. I am not adopted, but I could certainly relate to a low of Rowans feelings throughout adolescence. By the end of the book though, my heart hurt the most for Rowans Mum.
Gripping from start to finish, with a different kind of happy ending that what we are all used to.
My sincerest thanks to Netgalley and Akashic Books for a copy of this book in exchange for my review.
5 stars.
Rowan sets out to prove that she can be someone’s first choice. After running away from home–and her parents’ rules–and ending up beaten, barefoot, and topless on a Pennsylvania street courtesy of Bad Boy Number One, Rowan attaches herself to Never-Going-to-Commit. When that doesn’t work out, she fully abandons self-respect and begins browsing Craigslist personals. But as Rowan dives deeper into the world of casual encounters with strangers, she discovers what she’s really looking for.
With a fresh voice and a quick wit, Lauren J. Sharkey dispels the myths surrounding transracial adoption, the ties that bind, and what it means to belong.
Review:
I was in desperate need of a book that had me glued to the pages from start to finish, and Lauren J Sharkey has delivered. This sombre tale of an adopted Asian girl is similar to the works of Hanya Yanagihara, and had A Little Life vibes throughout.
Normally, when writing reviews I like to keep notes as i’m progressing through the book, however like I previously said, I was glued to this one, so much so that I didn’t make any notes.
This book, in it’s entirety is flawless. The writing is perfect and the story is gripping. You do truly feel the emotions of the characters and empathise with them. I am not adopted, but I could certainly relate to a low of Rowans feelings throughout adolescence. By the end of the book though, my heart hurt the most for Rowans Mum.
Gripping from start to finish, with a different kind of happy ending that what we are all used to.
My sincerest thanks to Netgalley and Akashic Books for a copy of this book in exchange for my review.
5 stars.
May 3, 2020
This book grabbed my attention as my husband born in Korea was adopted by a white couple. He too has struggled with what it means to be Asian and/or American.
In a society where it is easy to feel left out, I think the author’s writings reflect the issues of belonging, of what family really means and who and who isn’t really American.
I would have enjoyed this even more if the writing didn’t feel so disconnected in its timeline. However, the story eventually finds its pace.
In all, a thoughtful read and a great debut.
Thank you Kaylie Jones Books and Netgalley for this ARC.
In a society where it is easy to feel left out, I think the author’s writings reflect the issues of belonging, of what family really means and who and who isn’t really American.
I would have enjoyed this even more if the writing didn’t feel so disconnected in its timeline. However, the story eventually finds its pace.
In all, a thoughtful read and a great debut.
Thank you Kaylie Jones Books and Netgalley for this ARC.
May 17, 2020
Wow, this review is a hard one to write. First, I want to say that the author has a lot of promise, her writing held my attention all the way through. Please keep writing. However, I want to caution anyone who has a depressive disorder like me to skip this one. The writing is raw, honest and scary.
It seemed like the author was a story of two parts.
Part One, a baby is born in South Korea to a single mother and given up to a place for adoption. A couple adopted her brother, Aidan who had white ancestry. The baby, named Rowan never bonded with her mother and her mother seemed to a spend her affection more on one of her daycare kids. I wanted to break into this book and scream Family Counseling, but the characters never heard me. Rowan did have some experiences with her father as she was growing older but she never let go of her dream of unconditional love from her adoptive mother.
Part Two, Rowan starts seeking the love that she never got from a stream of boys, then teenagers and men. That is when I wanted to tell to get help not men, to learn to love herself. I finished the book but it left me angry, upset and unsettled.
I received an Advance copy of this book from the publisher as a win from Library Thing. My thoughts and feeling are entirely mine own.
It seemed like the author was a story of two parts.
Part One, a baby is born in South Korea to a single mother and given up to a place for adoption. A couple adopted her brother, Aidan who had white ancestry. The baby, named Rowan never bonded with her mother and her mother seemed to a spend her affection more on one of her daycare kids. I wanted to break into this book and scream Family Counseling, but the characters never heard me. Rowan did have some experiences with her father as she was growing older but she never let go of her dream of unconditional love from her adoptive mother.
Part Two, Rowan starts seeking the love that she never got from a stream of boys, then teenagers and men. That is when I wanted to tell to get help not men, to learn to love herself. I finished the book but it left me angry, upset and unsettled.
I received an Advance copy of this book from the publisher as a win from Library Thing. My thoughts and feeling are entirely mine own.
June 28, 2023
I blamed her for not seeing my pain, not understanding she was simply trying to survive her own.
3.5 stars. A story about a fraught mother-daughter relationship, told through the eyes of a transracial adoptee. I hate saying this about books because it always feels so unfair but truly: this should have been longer! I was 100% down with the thesis but I don't think the story was effectively told in so few pages. It's sort of a coming of age style, with frequent trips back and forward in the timeline. In the present day, we follow Rowan as she tries to get treatment for sexual assault, and the bulk of the rest of the narrative covers the events leading up to it, from childhood through school and college. I did like the writing style, the often acerbic wit, the insights on adoption and growing up different. I don't always like it when authors use hindsight like this ("If only I had known..." etc) but it worked for this kind of story. The ups and downs in her relationships with her mother, the amount of bitterness and love that exists between them, was really exquisitely portrayed. There just really needed to be a little more depth, and we had to see more of the timeline for it to really work for it. The ending was all too abrupt.
Listened to the audiobook as read by Leslie Bellair and really enjoyed it. There's a lot of pain and uncomfortable topics in here, but they're skilfully handled, even when the main character isn't mature enough to take stock of some of the things she's thinking or saying. I just wanted something more from this. I'd definitely read from this author again.
Content warnings:
June 20, 2020
TW: Domestic abuse/Sexual assault/Drug use
This book definitely had a haunting quality to it. We follow the main character Rowan who struggles heavily with her identity and finding her place in the world. Her Korean mother gave her up when she was just a newborn which meant she has been adopted by a middle-class American family not long after. Rowan faces problems as any teenager with navigating relationships and discovering who she is. This is all made extra harder for her because of adoption, cultural differences and feelings in general that she has towards her biological mom and her adoptive family. The situation escalates and after she transitions into University/College life we see Rowan's life drastically shift.
This book is definitely character-driven and I enjoyed having that inner insight into Rowan's life. She goes through a lot and I wish that some of the aspects and themes were explored slightly further and deeper. That being said it definitely did give enough background and logical reasoning. I cared about Rowan and was rooting for her all the way through and I believe that was exactly the point of this book. Do not get me wrong she is flawed but definitely deserved better and you can see that as a reader and empathise.
Overall I really enjoyed this book and I can't wait to read what the author comes up with next!
4/5
This book definitely had a haunting quality to it. We follow the main character Rowan who struggles heavily with her identity and finding her place in the world. Her Korean mother gave her up when she was just a newborn which meant she has been adopted by a middle-class American family not long after. Rowan faces problems as any teenager with navigating relationships and discovering who she is. This is all made extra harder for her because of adoption, cultural differences and feelings in general that she has towards her biological mom and her adoptive family. The situation escalates and after she transitions into University/College life we see Rowan's life drastically shift.
This book is definitely character-driven and I enjoyed having that inner insight into Rowan's life. She goes through a lot and I wish that some of the aspects and themes were explored slightly further and deeper. That being said it definitely did give enough background and logical reasoning. I cared about Rowan and was rooting for her all the way through and I believe that was exactly the point of this book. Do not get me wrong she is flawed but definitely deserved better and you can see that as a reader and empathise.
Overall I really enjoyed this book and I can't wait to read what the author comes up with next!
4/5
July 12, 2020
Okay this book BROKE my heart.
The story jumps back and forth in time, connecting different moments to various points in Rowen’s life and really gives you an inner insight into her thoughts and feelings. It’s written in a way that is very fast paced and makes you need to know where the story is going next. The complex relationship between Rowen and her mum is both touching and heartbreaking and I found myself rooting for their relationship from beginning to end, especially knowing some of the experiences written about in the book are based off the author’s own.
However, I felt that the story ended a bit abruptly and while I appreciated the redemption aspect of the story and the hope you are left with for both her relationship with herself and her relationship with her mother, I wanted more. But overall, this was a great debut and I can’t wait to see what Lauren writes next.
The story jumps back and forth in time, connecting different moments to various points in Rowen’s life and really gives you an inner insight into her thoughts and feelings. It’s written in a way that is very fast paced and makes you need to know where the story is going next. The complex relationship between Rowen and her mum is both touching and heartbreaking and I found myself rooting for their relationship from beginning to end, especially knowing some of the experiences written about in the book are based off the author’s own.
However, I felt that the story ended a bit abruptly and while I appreciated the redemption aspect of the story and the hope you are left with for both her relationship with herself and her relationship with her mother, I wanted more. But overall, this was a great debut and I can’t wait to see what Lauren writes next.
May 11, 2020
Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This novel is a beautifully written piece of work that greatly goes into the depths of some of the struggles transracial adoptees face—identity, grief/loss, belonging, struggles with adoptive parents, etc. As an adoptee myself, when reading this book, there were so many times I could relate to the vivid images Sharkey describes through Rowan, the main character.
Readers should take careful note this book touches on several delicate topics—especially controlling relationships and abuse, but the book is fast pace and does not dwell too long on these topics as they are interwoven with Rowen’s adoption journey.
The writing style was a bit confusing—jumping from past to present and was a bit confusing. With some chapters, it took several pages to fully understand the events in the time period. The ending seems rushed and leaves a reader with questions and wanting more. But the overall message and themes can be clearly seen throughout the book. So perhaps the confusion between past and present is what the author was going for…
Despite the heavier topics, being able to read a piece of literature that I could relate to—an adoptee as the main character and focusing on several themes related to adoption, was a pleasant change from so many works that are usually found at a bookstore. This is especially so important, as so many people view adoption as being “rainbows and butterflies,” but adoption is so much more than that…there is so much pain, grief, and loss that comes with adoption. Sharkey does a great job highlighting these emotions in her latest work.
This novel is a beautifully written piece of work that greatly goes into the depths of some of the struggles transracial adoptees face—identity, grief/loss, belonging, struggles with adoptive parents, etc. As an adoptee myself, when reading this book, there were so many times I could relate to the vivid images Sharkey describes through Rowan, the main character.
Readers should take careful note this book touches on several delicate topics—especially controlling relationships and abuse, but the book is fast pace and does not dwell too long on these topics as they are interwoven with Rowen’s adoption journey.
The writing style was a bit confusing—jumping from past to present and was a bit confusing. With some chapters, it took several pages to fully understand the events in the time period. The ending seems rushed and leaves a reader with questions and wanting more. But the overall message and themes can be clearly seen throughout the book. So perhaps the confusion between past and present is what the author was going for…
Despite the heavier topics, being able to read a piece of literature that I could relate to—an adoptee as the main character and focusing on several themes related to adoption, was a pleasant change from so many works that are usually found at a bookstore. This is especially so important, as so many people view adoption as being “rainbows and butterflies,” but adoption is so much more than that…there is so much pain, grief, and loss that comes with adoption. Sharkey does a great job highlighting these emotions in her latest work.
January 26, 2023
Love the take on transracial adoption! This book is about a girl that struggles to find the sense of belonging in her small circle of family and friends. Even sometimes i found It to be heart-breaking, Rowan in her rebellious phase annoyed me. A fast book to read, though the timeline was a bit scattery.
June 23, 2020
Thanks to Kaylie Jones/Akashic Books and NetGalley for the ARC!
I found myself reading this as if it were a fictional memoir- and it was a good one. See my full review at my blog.
I found myself reading this as if it were a fictional memoir- and it was a good one. See my full review at my blog.
May 8, 2023
Her story was heart breaking and I hope it reached others sitting in a similar situation. I enjoyed her writing very much. Only thing is I just wish she went in to more depth about her present day life and how her recovery is going.
April 23, 2020
Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This was an accomplished and well-paced debut that kept me interested until the end. I liked the structure and the time jumps between present day and filling in the character's back story. The author takes on some very big issues ranging from identity, belonging and self esteem to infertility, adoption and family relationships to abuse and control, all of which are dealt with in a sensitive and powerful way. I thought the mother-daughter dynamic was articulated particularly well. I did feel the ending was a bit abrupt, and I thought that more might have come of the present day storyline given the buildup throughout the book. Overall an enjoyable read with well developed characters.
This was an accomplished and well-paced debut that kept me interested until the end. I liked the structure and the time jumps between present day and filling in the character's back story. The author takes on some very big issues ranging from identity, belonging and self esteem to infertility, adoption and family relationships to abuse and control, all of which are dealt with in a sensitive and powerful way. I thought the mother-daughter dynamic was articulated particularly well. I did feel the ending was a bit abrupt, and I thought that more might have come of the present day storyline given the buildup throughout the book. Overall an enjoyable read with well developed characters.
August 5, 2020
A very promising first novel. The pacing felt a bit rushed in the end, and I was hoping for a bit more redemptive ending too. But the storytelling was compelling.
April 22, 2020
Wow... there are so few words I can use to describe the raw intensity of this book. Filled with emotions and a poignant story line, this book left me wanting so much more and yet, satisfied with the story I had read. Full of heartbreak and joy, this is a book that woman everywhere should read, if only to realize that we all have an inner voice doubting ourselves, and Lauren J. Sharkey described that inner voice with such honest passion and brought forth tears I didn’t know I had to shed.
April 21, 2020
Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
WOW. This book is tough to read at times, but it is fabulously written! I loved the way the book was organized, flipping back and forth between Rowan's present and her upbringing. Definitely a powerful read.
WOW. This book is tough to read at times, but it is fabulously written! I loved the way the book was organized, flipping back and forth between Rowan's present and her upbringing. Definitely a powerful read.
June 10, 2020
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read and review this book .im sad to say this book wasn’t it at all for me as it was very hard for me to get into it
This book might be amazing to other people depending on the genre you like so you can definitely give it a try
This book might be amazing to other people depending on the genre you like so you can definitely give it a try
May 7, 2020
Inconvenient Daughter Thank you NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book to review.
"Rowan Kelly knows she's lucky. After all, if she hadn't been adopted, she could have spent her days in a rice paddy, or a windowless warehouse assembling iPhones--they make iPhones in Korea, right? As she matures, she realizes that she'll never know if she has her mother's eyes, or if she'd be in America at all had her adoptive parents been able to conceive. Rowan sets out to prove that she can be someone's first choice"
Trigger warnings for this book include: Physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, depression, Sexual assault
I first chose to read this book because the premise sounded interesting and it is Asian and Pacific Islander American Heritage Month.
The first thing that I liked about this book was the take on the view from an adopted child. Seeing how the basis of this book is based on Sharkey's experience I think that the emotions Rowan had were believable, although raw and angry.
It was also very easy to read this book. I found myself being surprised at just how quickly I was reading the book
My biggest issue with this book is the unclear and frequent jumps in time. most chapters begin in a present tense and then suddenly change to past flashbacks without any warning. It started to get messy when we flashed back to the past, then the future, then further back into the past. It was just hard to keep the timeline straight.
I also wish that we would have spent less time in Rowan's childhood and had more time in her mid to late 20's. We also are frequently alluded to the fact that her mother had her own pain and struggles that she was dealing with, but I really wanted to see that. I also would have liked to know how Rowan's actions effected her Father and brother, Aiden who was also adopted.
Overall, I liked this book and would suggest it to people, but I wouldn't read it again due to the confusing time jumps and lack of story outside of Rowan's own experiences.
"Rowan Kelly knows she's lucky. After all, if she hadn't been adopted, she could have spent her days in a rice paddy, or a windowless warehouse assembling iPhones--they make iPhones in Korea, right? As she matures, she realizes that she'll never know if she has her mother's eyes, or if she'd be in America at all had her adoptive parents been able to conceive. Rowan sets out to prove that she can be someone's first choice"
Trigger warnings for this book include: Physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, depression, Sexual assault
I first chose to read this book because the premise sounded interesting and it is Asian and Pacific Islander American Heritage Month.
The first thing that I liked about this book was the take on the view from an adopted child. Seeing how the basis of this book is based on Sharkey's experience I think that the emotions Rowan had were believable, although raw and angry.
It was also very easy to read this book. I found myself being surprised at just how quickly I was reading the book
My biggest issue with this book is the unclear and frequent jumps in time. most chapters begin in a present tense and then suddenly change to past flashbacks without any warning. It started to get messy when we flashed back to the past, then the future, then further back into the past. It was just hard to keep the timeline straight.
I also wish that we would have spent less time in Rowan's childhood and had more time in her mid to late 20's. We also are frequently alluded to the fact that her mother had her own pain and struggles that she was dealing with, but I really wanted to see that. I also would have liked to know how Rowan's actions effected her Father and brother, Aiden who was also adopted.
Overall, I liked this book and would suggest it to people, but I wouldn't read it again due to the confusing time jumps and lack of story outside of Rowan's own experiences.
February 1, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced readers copy.
This book was a little scattered for me. It jumped around in time in a way that didn't really make sense. In the first half, the adoption was a huge part of the storyline, but closer to the end, it seemed like a plot device to explain the narrator’s bad decisions. SPOILERS The hospital storyline really upset me and I feel like it's dangerous to put this in print. Letting hospital staff assume you've been raped is not acceptable. Ever. Under any circumstance. She had consensual sex and regretted it. That's the exact thing victim-blamers throw at survivors of actual sexual assault. That's a real dealbreaker for me and the reason for my 1-star rating. I think it would irresponsible to recommend this book because of the false rape accusation (she doesn't file a report, but she does name a man who rejected her during her rape kit exam).
ETA: I've learned that this is semi-autobiographical. While I truly hope the author did not make a false claim of rape, I understand that everyone makes mistakes. Nowhere in the novel did she say that was the wrong move. At the beginning, she thinks, "Maybe this is a sign that the lie has gone on too long and this has gone too far." However, she not only continues with the process, she goes to another facility to have the exam done. That would have been a perfect opportunity to change her mind. At the very least, there should have been some type of reflection on it, maybe remorse. I don't know, but this left a really bad taste in my mouth.
This book was a little scattered for me. It jumped around in time in a way that didn't really make sense. In the first half, the adoption was a huge part of the storyline, but closer to the end, it seemed like a plot device to explain the narrator’s bad decisions. SPOILERS The hospital storyline really upset me and I feel like it's dangerous to put this in print. Letting hospital staff assume you've been raped is not acceptable. Ever. Under any circumstance. She had consensual sex and regretted it. That's the exact thing victim-blamers throw at survivors of actual sexual assault. That's a real dealbreaker for me and the reason for my 1-star rating. I think it would irresponsible to recommend this book because of the false rape accusation (she doesn't file a report, but she does name a man who rejected her during her rape kit exam).
ETA: I've learned that this is semi-autobiographical. While I truly hope the author did not make a false claim of rape, I understand that everyone makes mistakes. Nowhere in the novel did she say that was the wrong move. At the beginning, she thinks, "Maybe this is a sign that the lie has gone on too long and this has gone too far." However, she not only continues with the process, she goes to another facility to have the exam done. That would have been a perfect opportunity to change her mind. At the very least, there should have been some type of reflection on it, maybe remorse. I don't know, but this left a really bad taste in my mouth.
January 10, 2023
Trigger warnings :abuse/rape/drug use.
Well this was disappointing, it started out promising but it kept going downhill with each page, i know the book was supposed to make me sympathise with our main character Rowan but i think she's just fucking stupid.
She's anything but inconvenient daughter, it is mentioned over and over again how loving and caring her parents are especially her mother and all she does is doubt her love for her and hurt her, intentionally, now i would understand this, mother-daughter relationships can be extremely complex and i think the other had more than enough build up to explore their dynamic but she didn't and that's a pity.
Well this was disappointing, it started out promising but it kept going downhill with each page, i know the book was supposed to make me sympathise with our main character Rowan but i think she's just fucking stupid.
She's anything but inconvenient daughter, it is mentioned over and over again how loving and caring her parents are especially her mother and all she does is doubt her love for her and hurt her, intentionally, now i would understand this, mother-daughter relationships can be extremely complex and i think the other had more than enough build up to explore their dynamic but she didn't and that's a pity.
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